There have been so many days in my life when I used to let myself down by not meeting my goals. Be it annual goals, monthly or even daily goals. I had a penchant for screwing it up. Of course when you fail in the face of your own expectations, guess what your inner critic (voice in your head) will do to you. My inner critic used to beat me up, day after day after day.
'You are lazy!' 'You are pathetic!' 'You will never improve!'
All of us have faced this inner critic with varying levels of intensity. We almost always come up with a single minded approach to tackling the inner critic. Do more. Get better. Toughen up. In the face of a mountain that seems to become bigger with each failure, we convince ourselves that the only way forward is to run faster. To push harder. We see stories of underdogs winning against all odds and hope against hope that we would be that person, one day. That our massive action will crush our inner critic.
I have tried to take massive action under the crushing weight of past failures. The result has not been pretty. How fast do you think I could run, when my shoulders are unable to handle the increasing burden. I ended up unable to take massive action and failed, yet again. It ultimately led to not just increasing self criticism, but a gaping loss of self esteem. The result? Apathy and Depression.
Well then, how to handle the inner critic? I recommend a powerful approach, that worked for me, like a dream. It also has the added benefit of making us happier and feeling alive!
Accept ourselves. Fully. With all of our flaws.
The immediate reaction I hear is 'But I already have'!' 'That's what my inner critic has been saying'
No! our inner critic has been feeding us stories. There are flaws and there are stories. 'I take time to understand' is a flaw while 'I am stupid' is a story. By accepting a flaw fully and powerfully, we gain the freedom to focus on improving it or we get to focus instead on enhancing a gift that we have. With stories, there is no choice. There is only pain with no exit in sight.
There is power in authenticity. The minute we look deep within ourselves and accept our flaws, our perspective shifts. We begin to see the beauty within us, the values that have been buried within us and we can begin to understand ourselves better. This in turn gives us the chance to focus on what makes us come alive, what we care about and what truly matters.
All of us can do more to live richer, fuller lives. But connecting with our values and being our own unique selves, with our own unique gifts and eccentricities is the starting point. When we begin to take steps to fully accept ourselves, that is the time when our soul begins ti wake up. That is the time for massive action. And that is the approach to transforming our lives!
What action can we collectively take today to fully accept ourselves?
What action can we collectively take today to fully accept ourselves?
