November Fitness Goals Update and December Goals

I had set an ambitious target of 300 miles in November and ultimately it turned out to be too ambitious. I ended up with 120 odd miles with only about 20 miles of biking in the 2nd half of the month. Failure teaches some important lessons and i realized that i needed to strengthen my muscles in order to push my body more. Hence, i am joining a gym close by to focus on strengthening my core. Will set incremental biking goals month on month till i reach a point where i can go after big targets.

Aftermath of Paris - What can i do?

When i heard about the Paris attacks, i was outraged. It reminded me of the painful memory of the mumbai attacks in 2008. I remembered how i felt a lot of rage when i saw the visuals on TV and how utterly helpless and powerless i felt. It has been 7 years and the world feels no safer than it did back then.

I put aside this feeling of helplessness and started reflecting on what is it that i can do, no matter how little it is. The one thing that i felt i could do immediately was pray - pray for the victim's families, pray that this does not scar them for life and pray that they get the strength to heal themselves, with time. I truly believe that prayers are powerful, especially collective prayers. The universe will figure out a way to transfer those prayers to the people who are in need of healing. And so i prayed.

But there is something else happening as well. Whenever any such terrorist incident happens, there is a lot of debate and a lot of discussions. There are tons of viewpoints exchanged, about religious terrorism, about religious beliefs, about politics and its impact, and so on. I have been part of these discussions earlier and i have observed many such discussions, and from my experience, these discussions have not played any role to help resolve the problem. On the contrary, the discussion often used to end up as an argument with the parties on either side claiming that they were right and the other party was wrong. Very often, this led to bitter fights, in person and in social media and generally ended up raising the overall temperature, for the parties involved.

How then does that ever help in making this world a better place? How does that end up help create a better future for our generation and for the generations after us? I have come to the conclusion that if at all there is a solution, that needs to come from the heart and not from the mind/intellect. In my heart, i can feel that there can be only one solution, and that too, a long term one. And that is to treat every single person in this world with true respect and compassion and to be tolerant of their beliefs and opinions. 

How would the world be, if every person in this world respects the other's viewpoint on religion - either the other person's belief in their god(s) or their lack of belief? How would the world be, if every child in school is taught about respecting and honoring the other person's belief? How much better would the world be, if instead of arguments and fights, there is a respectful discussion? 

I strongly feel, that governments around the world should come together and imbibe a common education methodology that is rooted in human values of love, compassion and tolerance for multiple sets of beliefs. The notion of 'I am right' and 'you are wrong' needs to give way to 'I may disagree but i respect your viewpoint'. Violence arises from the individual feeling emptiness, depression and lack of compassion, trust and respect from the world around them. And when every individual feels respected, would not the levels of violence come down? 

From a personal standpoint, what i can do? I am making a promise to myself, that no matter how much i disagree with any other views, i will respect the other person's viewpoints and beliefs. I will be compassionate with people who may hold completely opposing views from mine and rather than argue, i will look for the 2% chance that from their perspective, they may be right. This to me, feels so much more empowering than to hold on to the feeling of rage, helplessness and powerlessness. And hopefully, some day, the world will figure out a solution to its problems, through its heart.

Toastmaster Speech: CC04: How to Say It: Rishikesh Memories

Rishikesh – Rishikesh is the name of a small city in a state called Uttarakand in India. Most people know that as the Yoga capital of the world. It is known for its ashrams and by the famous visitors such as Prince Charles, John Lennon and more recently, Julia Roberts. My experience with Rishikesh, however has nothing to do with Yoga. It is different.

Dear Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests, today I am going to share some of my beautiful memories in Rishikesh. I am going to transport you to the paradise that is Rishikesh.

When I was in delhi, my friend told me that Rishikesh is a great destination for river rafting. It sounded really exciting and I quickly signed up for the trip with close friends. When I landed in Rishikesh, I had no idea what to except. At Rishikesh, we came down the hill close to the river where a boatman arrived. He transported us across the river to the other side. On the other side, I was stunned to see huge tracts of sparkling white sand. It was soft, it was beautiful and it was incredibly scenic. The highlight of that place was that there was no mobile connectivity and no electricity. All night long, we listened to the soothing sound of flowing river.

In the morning, we headed for the rafting. It was a level 4 rafting with some seriously exciting rapids. The rapids had these rocks in different shapes and sizes jutting out. The waves were violent and we had an amazing time controlling the boat. The beauty however was in between the rapids. We had two large mountains on either side of the river and a clear blue sky on top. It was almost completely silent and the atmosphere was serene. It remains till date one of the most beautiful memories, rafting in Rishikesh.

Apart from rafting, we decided to walk up a trail. A trail in India is different from a trail in US. There are no maps. There is no name. And nobody knows where the trail leads into. As we started the trail, I remember the lush greenery. There were a variety of birds chirping. I could even smell the fresh mud on the trail. Once we reached the top of the trail, a spectacular sight greeted us. It was the sight of two waterfalls, one large and the other small. One was 30 feet tall and the other was 6 feet and both were separated by about 10 feet. We scrambled up the rocks and managed to climb the 6 feet falls. Even as the flowing current pushed us strongly, we resisted and absorbed the full beauty of the larger waterfall.

The other place that stands out in my memory is a place called Devprayag. It is a confluence of 2 rives – Alaknanda river and Bhagirathi river. Once they meet and join, they go on and merge into Ganges. Alaknanda river was muddy and looked brownish in color. Bhagirathi on the other hand was crystal blue similar to the pacific ocean. The huge waves colliding into each other was a sight to behold. It is just one of the few spectacular sights in Rishikesh.

Most people who visit Rishikesh tend to miss out on the other aspects apart from the Yoga centers. My wish is that each one of you who plan to visit Rishikesh take the time to explore the other aspects of Rishikesh. The natural grandeur of river ganga and the adjoining mountains. The scenic beauty of the waterfalls and the lush trails. The epic meeting of the hugely dissimilar rivers.  All these are a sight to behold and I hope that you will explore Rishikesh to its fullest. Thank you!

October Fitness Goals - Update!

10/29

I completed 150 miles of biking yesterday. More than the realization of my monthly goal, i am excited that i have been able to integrate biking as a part of my identity. Early on in the month, i took a picture of myself in a biking dress holding up my bike and put it as the screensaver in my mobile. When i am wearing the biking hat, i picture myself as some one who keeps pushing himself and does not stop till the goal is achieved. This constantly keeps reaffirming to me that i can push myself and keep getting outside of my comfort zone without listening to the negative voice inside my head that pops up now and again.

From Sep to Oct, i have moved from biking 70 miles to 150 miles. In November, am going for double of this - 300 miles! This definitely feels pretty much outside of my comfort zone and am excited to keep wearing my biking hat and going for it!

10/15

I had set a goal of 150 miles of biking for this month. I biked 15 miles today to touch the half way mark of 75 miles for the month! Excited to be on track :)

Toastmaster Speech - Why to pursue fulfillment instead of Happiness

Tweaked the earlier content and structure around fulfillment significantly. The objective of the speech is to persuade the audience towards a desired objective. I got some excellent feedback on what can work even better and i will re-post this speech again later after incorporating that feedback.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Get to the Point – Why to pursue Fulfillment over Happiness

Many of us, nay All of us crave for Happiness. We almost always pursue actions with Happiness as the end goal and in some cases, we crave happiness in every single activity that we do. Whichever form or shape, the pursuit of happiness is a key criteria in any decision that we take. And more often than not, it also proves to be a limiting aspect in our living a full and rich life.

Dear Toastmaster and fellow Toastmasters, today, I am going to present to you an alternate choice to pursue instead of Happiness. That alternate choice is Fulfillment. I am going to give you three reasons on why one should pursue Fulfillment as opposed to Happiness.

I have always held on to this idealistic view that I need to be happy all the time and very often this thought has led to unhappiness. I have realized that more often than not, there are circumstances that we cannot control. At work, there will be activities that I may not enjoy doing. There are relationships that do not work out and instead lead to pain and sadness. Every single one of us will go through worries or sadness. And that’s the whole point. It is important to acknowledge that we are sad or worried at times. This is where fulfillment comes in. Fulfillment means to have an end goal or purpose and to stay true to that purpose. Fulfillment will allow you to fully embrace the range of emotions, when we realize that the blip that we experience is just that, a blip. The more we can embrace our full range of emotions, the more we can develop as a human being and connect better with fellow human beings.

Reason Number 1 – Fulfillment allows us to experience a full range of emotions that in turn develops our character and our connectedness with fellow human beings

I have always wondered what is it that kept people in trying situations going. I have always wondered why parents sacrifice so much for their children. I had a working mother and I have closely observed how even after a tiring day at work, she will continue to give 100% at home, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. Some parents virtually sacrifice their entire lives for their child. I have personally seen my uncle and aunt give 100% of their time tending to my cousin who is a 'special child', day in and day out. The daily activities and burden that they carry at their age is definitely not going to lead to happiness. But the feeling that they experience in being a full time parent, in living their values of service and love – That keeps them fulfilled. Fulfillment will present us with the power to keep going in trying circumstances, by leading a life of values

Reason Number 2 – Fulfillment presents us with the power to keep going in trying circumstances, by leading a life of values

Living a life of values has tremendous potential. For example, if our core value at home is that of a loving husband/wife/son/daughter, then we will go that extra mile in doing the 'boring and thankless tasks', even if we are tired. If personal development is a key value, then we will not worry about 'mundane tasks' or the 'quality of work' or whether the 'effort equals reward' and just focus on being extra productive at completing whatever task is assigned to us. If being a responsible citizen is part of who we are, then we will find that extra time to participate in community tasks that may not be particularly appealing (Cleaning Trash/Streets for example). We may not be happy when we are doing the activity but if we live our values that we identify with, we will feel deeply fulfilled at the end of it. And the Impact to the world around us will be significantly higher.

The more we associate ourselves with fulfillment, the more we get to expand our potential and make a difference to the lives of others.

Reason Number 3 – Fulfillment allows us to expand our potential and make a difference to others

Fulfillment is a very personal concept. It can mean different things to different people. For me, fulfillment is to lead a life of values with a clear sense of purpose and direction. My core values are centered around Family, Personal Development, Connectedness and Service. And I will measure my life by not around how happy I was but around how true I stayed to these values.

I want all of you to explore and introspect on the concept of fulfillment. Please take a few minutes and answer the following questions.

What are your values?

What makes you fulfilled?

What legacy do you want to leave behind in this world by leading a fulfilled life? 

Thank you!

Co-Active Coach

Re-posting my message to my friends and family on Co-Active Coaching!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear friends and family,

Over the past year or so, I have been focused on exploring my own skills and interests and figuring out what makes me fulfilled and how best I can contribute. I have always enjoyed mentoring and was looking at means to help people, in my spare time on weekends. By chance, I came across a Coaching meet-up and long story short, I found myself enrolling in one of the top coaching programs - Coaches Training Institute (CTI).

Now Co-Active Coaching (the program at CTI) is not what I thought Coaching was. Coaching is not about an expert resolving one's issues through his/her expertise. It is also not counselling/healing by listening to their past and helping them cope up with the issues. At the core, it is about helping guide people resolve their problems on their own! It is quite an experience just having someone listen and guide you towards your goals with the best of intentions!

I am still in the process of learning the Co-Active Coaching from a skills standpoint, but what I found to be hugely powerful, is the idea that to be a coach, the intention to serve with all of one's heart is way more important than the skills that we hold!

And that is why, I want to announce to everyone that I am (already!) a Co-Active Coach and I am deeply interested in connecting with people who are interested in improving any aspect of their life.

I am happy to setup up free coaching session(s) (30-45 minutes) through Phone. Please message me (via face book) if you are interested in a sample session! Rest assured that the session will be entirely confidential.

All you need to do is identify at least one area of your life (Career, Family, Relationships, Health, etc.) that you really want to improve. It is ok if you have not identified a goal (as that can be the objective of the sample session). No matter how great or average the sample session, I am confident that you will gain something out of it!

Manoj

The Secret Ingredient

Many of us, nay All of us crave for Happiness. We almost always pursue actions with Happiness as the end goal and in some cases, we crave happiness in every single activity that we do. Whichever form or shape, the pursuit of happiness is a key factor in almost every decision that we consciously or subconsciously take. Unfortunately, we also also tend to avoid activities that may not lead to happiness. 

At work, we tend to focus on activities that interests or excites us while avoiding activities that are not. At home, we will relax by watching TV while our better half or parent will be cleaning up the kitchen and we will procrastinate on tasks such as cleaning up the house or clearing out the trash. The common answer given is that 'I don't like _____' (fill in the blanks). And as we did not enjoy it, it automatically meant that there was no happiness at stake.And on the odd occasion, where we actually did something we did not enjoy, it remained just that, an odd occasion :)

I was also that person who craved happiness above everything else, at work, at home and with friends. However, i realized that the pursuit of happiness very often led to unhappiness! For example, there was always that office work that was boring as hell, that i had to work on. And like it or not, i had to get the work done. With relationships, sometimes there are events that you cannot control, and that led to pain and unhappiness.

On the other hand, I also wondered what is it that kept people in trying situations going. I have always wondered why parents sacrifice so much for their children. This is true in almost every other household, especially in India. Some of them virtually sacrifice their entire lives for their child. For example, my uncle and aunt give 100% of their time tending to my cousin who is a 'special child', day in and day out. The daily activities and burden that they carry at their age is definitely not going to lead to happiness. And they hardly complain! So what keeps them going? 

That Secret Ingredient is 'Fulfillment'. I had heard this term before, but never bothered to understand it fully. I wanted to understand the difference between Happiness and Fulfillment and am thankful for the insight that i got from a mentor. Fulfillment is what keeps people going, even when the activity in itself or the outcome does not lead to happiness. Fulfillment, in turn is a derivative of being true to one's values. And when the objective becomes fulfillment instead of happiness, the possibilities are endless!

For example, if our core value at home is that of a loving husband/wife/son/daughter, then we will go that extra mile in doing the 'boring and thankless tasks', even if we are tired and we wont feel happy doing it. If personal development is a key value, then we will not worry about 'mundane tasks' or the 'quality of work' or whether the 'effort equals reward' and just focus on being extra productive at completing whatever task is assigned to us. If being a responsible citizen is part of who we are, then we will find that extra time to participate in community tasks that may not be particularly appealing (Cleaning Trash/Streets for example). We may not be happy when we are doing the activity but if we live our values that we identify with, we will feel deeply fulfilled at the end of it.

This may sound simple, but as i am realizing, this is a powerful shift. I would love to hear your views. What are your values? And what makes you fulfilled?  

P.S: I was deeply inspired to just write about fulfillment today and i realize that it may not be as structured or concise as i meant it to be. I am planning to convert this topic into a Toastmaster speech and will share the refined version shortly in this blog :)