Dealing with our Inner Critic

'You are not good enough!'

'You simply cannot succeed at this!'

'This is beyond you!'

When I prepared for CAT and failed year after year, these voices kept getting louder and louder. I found myself waging a battle against myself. When I cleared CAT finally, I was relieved and exhausted that my battle with the voices in my head was finally over. But NO, the voices went on and on, often pulling me down, when I screwed up in exams and later when I screwed up at work. It is not just me. I often hear people blame themselves, when they screw up, at times. 

'I am terrible at public speaking'

'I always screw up in interviews'

'I am just not good at parenting'

Do you feel that way? Does your inner critic blame you for screwing up? At a time when are emotional, when you need the maximum support, when you feel like you need oxygen to breathe, have you felt your inner critic drag you down deeper? Crushing your spirit?  

The key question to ask is 'Is this true or is this a story that you are making up'?

Let's be clear. The emotion is real. We do feel sadness and/or anger when we fail, when we screw up. We feel miserable, disappointed, dejected, even depressed. We also feel frustrated and angry. But is the story, that we make up, about ourselves, in that moment, really true?

Why not separate the emotion from the story? 

Let us all think about the stories that our inner critics had thrown at us, when we went through tough times. And the next time we face our inner critic, let's ask these questions:

What is possible, if we treat ourselves with compassion, when we screw up? 

What is possible, when we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, without blaming ourselves?

What is possible when we voice it out loudly to ourselves 'This story is not true!'

I, for one, will be keeping a close watch on my inner critic! I hope you do too!

Re-Calibrating my Values and Goals

It has been an extremely average last few weeks for me. I pride myself on setting stretch goals but after 2 weeks of continuous missteps, I feel the need to re-evaluate. I feel that my priorities are changing and some of the goals that I have set for myself does not make sense to me anymore. Also, while I know for a fact that pursuing goals as part of a group has better chance of success, I have not set goals for myself from that standpoint. 

What are my core values that I deeply identify with, that's my oxygen that keeps me going??  

What goals best embrace those values, that makes my life meaningful??

As I introspect, these are the values that I feel deeply connected to, with all of my heart.

| Energy | Overcoming Limits | Growth Mindset | Mindfulness | Connection | Playfulness | 

Through these values, I envision myself moving closer towards fulfilling my potential.

I envision myself as representing the energy of the wind that keeps blowing every second of every minute of the day. By overcoming my physical limits, I will achieve my goals of completing biking marathons, hiking difficult peaks and developing a lean and fit body. By overcoming my mental limits by imbibing a growth mindset, I will achieve my learning goals in a range of topics including Coaching, Leadership and Entrepreneurship. I will be mindful and fully present and will connect deeply with like minded people. Above all, I will develop a playful mindset that will keep me happy and grounded, amidst all of the growth.

Accordingly, I am tweaking my daily goals along these lines:

- Daily Morning Routine of Practicing Gratitude through Journaling

- Daily Prayer, Surya Namaskar and Meditation

- Deep and continuous focus for 90 min twice a day on key learning topics

- Daily Running or Daily Biking for 30 minutes

On weekends, I will focus on connecting with friends and like minded folks and on having fun.

I am excited in setting these new goals that I feel resonates with me and confident that this will take me in the direction of leading a life of my dreams!