Dealing with our Inner Critic

'You are not good enough!'

'You simply cannot succeed at this!'

'This is beyond you!'

When I prepared for CAT and failed year after year, these voices kept getting louder and louder. I found myself waging a battle against myself. When I cleared CAT finally, I was relieved and exhausted that my battle with the voices in my head was finally over. But NO, the voices went on and on, often pulling me down, when I screwed up in exams and later when I screwed up at work. It is not just me. I often hear people blame themselves, when they screw up, at times. 

'I am terrible at public speaking'

'I always screw up in interviews'

'I am just not good at parenting'

Do you feel that way? Does your inner critic blame you for screwing up? At a time when are emotional, when you need the maximum support, when you feel like you need oxygen to breathe, have you felt your inner critic drag you down deeper? Crushing your spirit?  

The key question to ask is 'Is this true or is this a story that you are making up'?

Let's be clear. The emotion is real. We do feel sadness and/or anger when we fail, when we screw up. We feel miserable, disappointed, dejected, even depressed. We also feel frustrated and angry. But is the story, that we make up, about ourselves, in that moment, really true?

Why not separate the emotion from the story? 

Let us all think about the stories that our inner critics had thrown at us, when we went through tough times. And the next time we face our inner critic, let's ask these questions:

What is possible, if we treat ourselves with compassion, when we screw up? 

What is possible, when we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully, without blaming ourselves?

What is possible when we voice it out loudly to ourselves 'This story is not true!'

I, for one, will be keeping a close watch on my inner critic! I hope you do too!