Over the past few weeks, I have been sensing a strong pull towards self expression. Even as I have been taking steps towards expressing myself, through coaching, speaking and writing, I have also sensed quite a bit of resistance. It feels as if one part of me wants to be bigger and bolder but another part is scared and fearful. Hence I have been feeling this swirl of emotions, joyful and alive one time, dejected and anxious the other.
I feel it is important for me to fully accept every emotion that comes up and not push them away. Every season serves its purpose and I do believe that there is some learning that will be available to me that will reveal itself at the right time.
However, I do have to separate myself from the stories.
I am creative, authentic and service driven. On some days, it feels like Life is such a joy and there is flow in action. I am grateful for these days. However I want to rid myself of the unrealistic expectations that every single day will be like this.
I have to remember that I am my values and I am my inner leader every single day, both good and bad.
I am NOT weak, passive or lazy. Yes, there are days when I feel fully in the swirl of negative emotions and am slow to take action. Yes, I am not perfect. Yes I am flawed and human.
But every single day, I am my values and I am my inner leader.
I have complete faith that when the time comes, what is meant to be expressed will be expressed through me. Till then, I choose to be alive, to be grateful and to be present, with whatever comes up.
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